Dreams.

Wow, everyone has been talking about Dreams a LOT lately.  I think that's sort of a wake up call to me.
See, I don't like trying to figure out exactly what I will do in life, because every time I make a decision, I feel like it closes a million doors, but that's the thing, it does But here's the other thing, it opens a million more!
My main problem is that whenever I have to make life changing decisions I never know what to do, because I don't know where I want to go.  So finally, I'm just going to go for it, this is what I want to do with my life as of right now.

To start off, I don't necessarily want any big PHYSICAL thing.  Like, I'm not looking for a huge house or an awesome lawn. (Though, I wouldn't complain if I were to acquire such) What I do want is a non physical thing.  I want to be famous. There, I said it. I want to be famous for something.
Now, what I would like to be famous for is writing. I would like to be an amazing writer.
I want to write Fantasy or science fiction (Or both) And I want to make people smile. I love making people happy, it's something I'm good at and enjoy.  I love that feeling once I reach the climax of a book and you feel like you want to stand up and cheer, you feel like you could run a million miles!  Like you could beat a dragon or do a years worth of school work in a day. That's the feeling I want to give people. That's what my dream is, that's what I strive for in life.

A Life of Performance.

Two weeks ago I finished a run of a play, Much Ado About Nothing.  It was amazing and fantastic and I enjoyed myself a lot!

Acting is what I love to do, it's part of me and I've done it since before I can remember. This year is my last year in high school, after this I will move on, go to college, go on a proselyting mission for my church, and whatnot. 

Anyhow, this will be my last year to be in a play for at least three years.  This year there is a large musical being put on and I was DYING to try out. The problem was that I had just been in a play (Much ado) and had been in one last semester and I was (And still am) very very behind in school..

  So I had to make a decision, I had to give up something so that I could catch up in school. So rather than give up acting, which I loved, I decided that I would have to give up the funness of the internet.  So as of right now I have decided a few things: I'm only aloud to use YouTube during classes or via class Modules, I'm not aloud on Facebook except for on Sundays. I can't listen to podcasts on my computer (Though, If I'm exercising and it;s on a mp3 player it's fine) and I can't play any games on my computer.  All of these are in hopes that I'd be able to catch up WHILE being in a play. 

It was interesting because I had to actually go through and decide, what is most important to me. I had to look at what my dream in life is. As Dallin Ward said over in the Williamsburg community,          

"Everyone needs a dream. That is how all great things have been done." (If you have time go read his entire thing, it's good, and then go to Wesleigh Smith's post and read all of those responses, they're beautiful. )  So I looked at my life and decided where I wanted to go.  I found that that path didn't involve wasting days on end on the internet, however fun that may seem to me at the time. MY path to awesome involved me being committed to getting work done and to being free of the distracting influence of the internet. 

This is now the second week I've been doing this and it's fantastic how much has changed.  I've been able to focus on school work and I have started to catch up, it's been great. 

It hasn't been easy.  For instance, there are some days when I don't get very much done because I am simply spending the time fighting the part of me that wants to just quit and go to YouTube and waste away the afternoon. I'm used to being able to just distract myself and I'm used to just having fun.  I believe that the carefree, "Do nothing" mindset is just as much of an addiction as anything else is, and I obviously must have got myself hooked to it. It's just weird, some days I will literally have to argue part of myself that wants to go play, I have to literally convince it that what I'm working on is more important. It's basically my Red/Yellow personality if you're at all familiar with the color code.  I used to be really red, I was focused and I was very leadership oriented and stuff, but then over the years on the internet my yellow personality has taken over and I'm can be very uncommitted and lazy and just like having fun. So basically I'm trying to exercise that redness that I know I have. I'm trying to get back the determination and drive that I used to have.  It's crazy, but it's awesome that I am finally able to sit down and work and get things done. 

So, look at your priorities see what you WANT and then organize you time well.  You will never have more time than you have now, something will always be taking up your time, whether it be school work, other school, children, you will never have more time, you will just have to prioritize. 

So find that path and follow it to the end. The path is straight and narrow, the path is hard and filled with brambles, but in the end, it will be worth it. 

Accountability, day one.

Here I am, at the low.  Just like I was last year at this time.  But LAST year I just sort of fell over and died until the last week when I got up and brushed past with barely a "B" and a couple of A's (Most pretty much undeserved. )
So, this year I'm not going to do that, I have made a set of commitments and I'm sticking to them, they are requirements.
It's going to be hard, but it'll be doable.
Along with that I'm going to try to give an update of how I did each day. I'll publish it each night.  Here is today's: (Tuesday's)

So, today I did four Aleks topics (Right along schedule)
And I did one Study guide.
This is  in 6 1/2 hours.
I could have done better... But that's acceptable for today.

Also, AHHHHHHHHUUUUGGGGG!!!!
I'm trying out for Aida the musical and I'm so worried!!! I don't know what I'm going to get!! And I won't know until Thursday...

Also, if you want to read Final Stand in it's entirety, here it is
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FU6cs1d9uq5poaO08_gm_KPbWEfdj6uWKMAnG9rPrBs/edit?usp=sharing